lonely.

So I'm in one of those moods where I don't know if it's PMS or loneliness or I'm just completely exhausted. I fell asleep around 8pm last night and woke up at 415am for work, still in a weird mood. I really don't know how to shake the funk, and I have to be on my best behavior the next few days because I have 2 more early mornings at work. It's hard to bounce between jobs and not have a moment to decompress, but a girl has to pay the bills.

It's times like this where I think it would be so much easier to deal with everything if I had someone to stand beside me in the tough times. Like if I had someone's hand to hold at the end of the day all my problems would magically melt away. I've done that before, and I know it's not totally true, but it would be nice to have someone's should to cry on when I'm too exhausted to move.

And then I feel guilty for having these feelings because I'm an independent gal, I work 2 jobs, I pay my own bills, I walk myself home late at night from the bar... why do I need someone? I think it's now more of a selfish 'want' than a real 'need.' I don't know if I've ever really NEEDED anyone to validate myself.

So all you happy [or even unhappy] couples out there, I'm a little jealous of your bed companion. And your weeknight movie companion. And your kissing in the rain companion. Sappy enough yet?



I've also been completely obsessed with this song. It's the sweetest and saddest song about a one night stand that I've ever heard. I love Hello Saferide because she's completely silly and honest at the same time. It's definitely one of those albums where I feel like 99% of the songs were written personally for me. And I wish I could blast them from my balcony so everyone could finally understand me and why I'm so sad sometimes.

Please bear with my emoness for a bit. I promise it will pass. I guarantee it!

xx

CH!

It was CH's birthday on Thursday and I was asked to make some awesome cupcakes for the event. The thing is, CH isn't a fan of sweets, so I had to find a way to make him appreciate the cupcakes even if he wasn't going to eat it.

This is when my airbrush came in handy!


Helvetica "ch" on each cupcake!

I kid you not, this idea came to me only a few hours before I needed to take these down to Memphis. I made a stencil with some paper and tape and an exacto knife. Then I dipped the cupcakes in white chocolate and airbrushed them with red food coloring. I'm so so so happy with how they came out.

bangs.

Meet Fortran... my roomie's pup/my partner in crime when I have a day off

I went today and got my hair cut... it was mostly bulk getting taken out rather than length. I asked Nicole to straighten it for me cause it's been months since I've even attempted to do it, and to also give me some bangin' bangs. Results: I love it. I'm sure I'll be back to curly in a few days, but for my grandma's birthday party tomorrow, I'll look pretty snazzy.

I'm so excited because my brother is coming into town tonight, and he's staying with me for the weekend. He's one of my favorite people ever. And we always have fun adventures. So we're going out tonight Downtown... gonna shake up Santa Ana a bit.

Until then, Fortran and I are gonna continue to be lazy and lay on the couch. Maybe we'll go outside so I can have a cigarette, and he can sniff around. And maybe we'll even watch Angel-A which I've had from Netflix for almost a week. I'm glad to have some good company with me today.

xx