fuck.

I don't care what anyone thinks or says...

today was rough. And I made a huge decision despite what others think is important or not. This was important to me. This was part of my day to day life. This is forcing me to break habits that felt so natural to me. I've never had to do anything like this before, and it's the reason I'm up at almost 4am listening to confusing music for my confused mind.

I have never felt the need to disappear so much in my life. I wish I could coma it up for a few weeks and wake up refreshed and aware of what my next step should be.

But since that won't happen I'm just going to keep baking cupcakes at work tonight, and just concentrate on me for the first time. At least to the best of my abilities.

Oh and BTW, my abilities suck a lot for the most part.

xx