regrets.

I really try my best to not regret anything I've done. It all happens for a reason, the good and the bad, and it will intentionally form me into the person I'm going to be in the future.

Drunken nights, and nothing fights, and kissing random people... will this have a positive effect on myself in 2010? That's what my biggest struggle is with going into this new year. I'm hoping to find a way to leave the past in the past and have Friday morning be a clean slate.

This doesn't always work out though for the overthinker. So what's a girl to do? I guess just listen to more Camera Obscura and Her Space Holiday. Maybe I'll drink less and read more. Take the time to bake delicious treats for my friends and really be proud of them. Not get jealous as much. And realize that I will lose friends, but I'll gain more independence and hopefully some more great friends because of it.

I want to wake up most mornings and be happy, even if I'm a little hungover.

And mostly I want to love myself fully again.

So 2010 I think I'm ready for you.

xx

portland.

Seriously Portland... I'll see you someday... and eat that stupid mac & cheese. And drink all your PBR.

unwrapped.

I feel pretty lucky this xmas because I got a few things that really meant something to me. They weren't just things...


My own mug at Hollingshead.


Best mix cd I've ever heard. I've been playing it non-stop since I got it.


And a Harry Potter Oyster Card holder. Now if I can just get back to london.

This was probably the best xmas I've ever had. It ended with my SA family, some new faces and some old. Those people are really the best present I could get all year.

I'm trying now to figure out plans for New Years. I'm sure I'll end up at Memphis since I can walk there and everyone is pretty much going to be there. But I'm pining for an adventure and I have a few days off around that time. We'll see what happens. Everything always ends up turning into an adventure anyway.

xx

xmas.

Merry Christmas kiddies!

A little Dave Brubeck never hurt anyone, especially during the holidays. I'm not a huge fan of the holidays, but it was nice to wake up at my parents house this morning. We're cooking breakfast and watching terrible tv. And I'm getting to play with their pup Sadie [gosh she makes me want a dog].

I'm heading back to Santa Ana tonight though to hang out with my other family. We're hitting up a dive bar and just doing what we do best [drink, smoke, be amazing]. I'm extra excited also because I get to hopefully hang out with someone awesome before they head back up to SF. [Yeah, it's making me smile a lot.]

Hope everyone has a great holiday! I didn't have high hopes for today, but it's nice to see that the end of this year has taken a turn for the better!

xx

evil.

I've always been thought of as the innocent girl. I never got in trouble. I was always too afraid to do anything bad. But as I get older I realize that a bit of trouble can be a good thing. It keeps you on your toes, along with everyone else. And as long as no one is really getting hurt... being a bit evil is all fun & games.


Plus it makes me wanna be Eartha Kitt when I grow up!

xx

#1.

This completes me.

war.

I know I've been listening to this song for years, but yesterday at work it came on and I decided to really pay attention to what he was saying. It was one of those moments of perfect timing with the perfect song.

"Because the truth is that gossip is as good as gospel in this town. You can save face but you won't ever save your soul. And that's a fact."

I have a cookie order to fill today. 3 dozen irish whiskey cookies. Then this weekend I get to start on a birthday cake order for Tuesday. Thank goodness BBF has nice fancy cameras so hopefully now my photos for the website won't be grainy with bad lighting.

Is it really only one week until Christmas? pfffft holidays!

I should really get started on my day. Too much to do and never enough time.

xx

cha cha cha.

I'm pretty sure I want to be MC Lyte when I grow up.

xx

kogi.

Orange County got their very own Kogi truck a few months ago, and BBF & I have been talking about having a Kogi food adventure ever since. It finally happened yesterday!


Between the line, ordering, and waiting to get our food 1 1/2 hours had passed, but the wait was well worth it. We loaded up on Kim Chi quesadillas, pastrami hot dogs, short rib tacos, and sliders and headed to David's house to share the wealth.


We were so full afterwards that it was hard to go to work for the rest of the night. But I'll definitely be back for more soon. Very soon.

por vida.

♥

alcohol.

This is my new favorite song. And the BBF's anthem. I think we're gonna go see them next week at Chain Reaction... it will be messy and amazing.

loves.

I'll get home and meet my friends at our favorite bar.
We'll get some lighter heads for our heavy hearts.
And we will share a drink.
Yeah we will share our fears and they will know how I love them.
They will know how I love.
They will know how I love them.
I am nothing without their love.
Bring on the weekend already!

j'adore.

I adore Marc Bianchi. I have such a crush, and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that his music gets under my skin in all the right ways. He makes me want to wear cardigans and walk around London alone.


"So carry me around like a picture in your purse, and pull me out when things are at their worst."

xx

december.

Hello December! When did you decide to show your lovely face? And why is it still hot and sunny outside? Damn you California.

I need things like calendars otherwise I'll never know what's going on in my world. And so far December looks pretty good and pretty busy. Lots of art plans [Santa Ana Art Walk this Saturday + Box Gallery opening on the 9th], Nicci's birthday, and then of course Christmas nonsense. I'm just looking forward to my two weeks off from the school district at the end of the month. Hooray for winter breaks!

As an early xmas present to myself I'm thinking about getting a 160g ipod. My little 8g isn't cutting it for me, but I figure I'll hang onto it for when I go to the gym, unless I can find someone that wants to take it off my hands for a fair price. So right now I'm uploading all of my amazingly bad taste in music onto my itunes so I can be prepared when I get it either today or tomorrow. How awesome will it be to go from Elliott Smith to the Spice Girls to Beethoven in one click of a button. 40,000 songs is a little much, but what the hell, it gives me room for improvement.

I'm really looking forward to this weekends art walk because CH and a bunch of other amazing people Downtown put together one of the craziest art projects I've seen. And I'm so happy that it will be running the whole month, because I have a feeling if I'm ever a little down I could just walk 2 blocks and see this and be happy...

555 KUBIK | facade projection | from urbanscreen on Vimeo.

I'll be sure to take a video of the one down here on Saturday and post it because they customize it specifically for the building it's being projected it.

Off to my 2nd job soon, but at least I have the morning off to sleep in and hopefully go run on the treadmill or something.

xx