alone.

Candice Brown is a 24 SWF living in Santa Ana, Ca. She enjoys long nights at the bar, anything covered in cheese, and getting really nerdy tattoos.

I haven't felt comfortable being alone in awhile. Trust me, before I actually moved to Santa Ana life was great... except for the living in Garden Grove part. For the first time in a long time I was really happy being single. I could do whatever I wanted and not have to worry or answer to anyone. But as soon as I moved Downtown I met someone that changed that and set me back to some old habits.

While the summer was a lot of fun, actually the best summer I've had as an adult, going into fall was tough. And I started to not feel so independent anymore. I had someone to lean on when the shit hit the fan, and it was nice. But I didn't realize that when all that ended, when I really needed to be able to stand up on my own two feet, that I made myself so weak in the knees that I completely collapsed back into being a dependent needy girl.

How gross is that?

I'm not saying this process is going to be easy. I'm not saying I won't cry and punch walls and drink too much to kill some of the pain. All I can say is that I have an amazing support system of friends that will be there for me when times are tough. But at the same time I know that I can pick myself back up. I've done this before. I'm a strong gal.

As for this week, I've decided to take a break from the Downtown life. I need to get some things straight before my new roommate moves in at the beginning of February. I want to get a good amount of sleep at night and keep myself busy at work. Read more. Watch too much Rescue Me thanks to Netflix. And pretty much be okay with being alone.

It's not as sad as it sounds... I promise that there will be more crazy nights in my future. I can guarantee that.

xx