retrospect.

5 days into 2010 and I'm pretty pleased so far. Besides this awesome cold that popped up yesterday. But as much as I'm happy to look into the future, I just want to look back on 2009 for one last moment. Like saying goodbye to a shitty friend that you're still nice to whenever they call because you had some good times together.

Trust me, a year ago I never would have dreamed I'd be living in Downtown Santa Ana, that I would have as many friends as I do, and that my whole world would be turned completely upside down because of a silly website called yelp.

March changed everything. I finally got that second job I'd been needing and for once would be paying for all my bills on my own. A week before I started at Fresh & Easy I went to my first yelp elite event at Grand Central in Santa Ana. There I met my lovely friend Christopher Hall, who really changed my life by asking me to join him for a drink at Memphis. I met Johnny that night, and I'm sure a few other people in my drunken haze, but by meeting CH I felt more welcome than anywhere I'd ever been before. I slowly started to drag friends to Memphis with me on Johnny nights, until one night after a long day at Disneyland, I needed a drink. I decided to venture to Memphis on my own, and that was the best decision I've ever made. I met a ton of people, hung out with Johnny, and had a blast. After that I didn't need anyone to go with me because I was quickly making new friends [and a new family] in SA.

CH introduced me to my awesome friend Nicole in April and we hit it off right away. She talked Chris & Johnny into letting me cater a gallery opening, which got lush pastries off the ground. I catered a show for Joseph Hawa at The Box Gallery and it was one of the best experiences, even though it was completely nerve wrecking. But I learned that the nerves are a good thing. They make you want to be better.

Soon enough I decided it would be best to get out of Garden Grove and actually move Downtown. Right after I moved I ended up making one of the best friends I've ever come across. I swear he's my other half. My bacon best friend. I knew Andy from the bar for months, and we'd talk and drink, but it was always just bar talk. One night I decided that he shouldn't drive home and brought him back to my place to sober up. We talked until 5am. Who knew that we would hit it off so well? It's fate I guess. And even though in the following months we had our share of ups and downs, it has somehow made me a better person. And probably a more sober person now. I don't know how I drank so much sometimes! He's a great friend and I'm happy that I found him somehow. Our friendship transcends language and time zones and miles and sobriety.

Another amazing amazing friend I met thanks to Downtown is my Patty. She's one of my best friends, probably the closest girlfriend I have at the moment, and I love her every single day more & more. We've been through so much in such a short amount of time that I know we'll be friends for the long run. I'm lucky because she just lives upstairs and I can call on her anytime I need someone to listen to my drama or just grab a sandwich with me from Subway. She makes it easy to be myself and not worry what other people think. And I know no matter what, she's loves me. And you really can't buy that kind of love... sometimes you just luck up and find it at the bar.

I got my heart broken worse than ever before this year, and now that it's finally healing I'm feeling more like myself again. It's a refreshing way to start a new year. And as much as I try not to regret things, there are some things that I wish I could have changed. But I'm hoping that this will only make me into a more conscious person. More aware that I'm hurting others or hurting myself.

So thanks 2009 for teaching me a lesson or two about life. You gave me hope that I'm not a total loser, and actually I'm a pretty awesome person. You got me to be brave and try so many new things. But you also kicked my ass [it was deserved at times].

I'm going to get back to making a mix cd for someone that may never hear it, and that's okay, cause it's probably more for me anyway. Sometimes I just need to get stuff out of my system, even if it's just in the form of some silly music from my not so huge playlist.

xx